Tiny Tales

“Hey… Neptune! Feeling blue?”

He gives me the finger.

To be honest, I am still pissed.

It’s been 4,722 days since Earth decided I don’t get to be a planet anymore. When Neptune whispered it to me, at first I thought it was a joke, I laughed a little, spun around a few times, ya know. But no, he was serious, dead serious, he was afraid to say, felt sorry and all that, but nothing he could do, they all agreed and “don’t take it personally”. Went on with his orbit, has given me the cold shoulder ever since. There goes that friendship, I guess.

I should have known they’d gang up on me, of course.

Earth has always thought it was the hot stuff – with a livable atmosphere and all those little creatures crawling around on it, I guess it was just a matter of time it would get to its head. Still can’t reach the other planets of course, but hey lately they figured out how to send gifts to Mars every couple of years. One or two little robots, they’re inseparable all of a sudden.

That, of course, made Venus jealous, who likes to be the center of attention and is way too busy making pretty eyes at Jupiter because, quote, he’s big and strong, and “have you seen the red spot on that guy”. Barf. All gas and no substance I say, but who’s going to listen to the little guy?

Oh and don’t get me started on Uranus, which I’ve been told mostly serves as a joke for middle schoolers all over Earth. Serves you right, butt planet with knockoff Saturn rings. News flash, wearing them upright went out of style a million years ago, and your idol still won’t pay attention to you!

“Hot hot hot hot, hooot hot”, I hear Mercury on another spin around the sun like its hair is on fire. I wouldn’t even mind the little idiot, if it weren’t for stealing my “smallest planet” crown…

My eyes drift to the star, a flaming red ball in the night sky, beautiful and threatening all at the same time.

“30 million years to go before you burn it all down,” I sigh. “Hurry up already.”